Dear Dr. Solution,
Please, I’m in a relationship with a guy that resides in Canada. We have been in this relationship for two years and counting. He has neither visited my family nor proposed to me. He recently told me that I should leave my decent job and travel to Guinea where his paternal family hails from, on the basis that I stay with them for a year to understand and imbibe their culture.
Meanwhile, I am now the bread winner in my family by virtue of being the eldest child of my parents. My mother is a single mother and ,she is at present out of work.
He assured me that I will be taken care of, but no assurance about my family was mentioned.
He also told me that he could by his tradition take a second wife without consulting with me,a situation I will abhor.
Finally, he has asked me to convert to his religion without even meeting my family. I am weary of this relationship.
I have seen red flags.
Please advise.
Bintu.
Kissy.
Dear Bintu, They say follow your heart, but take your brain with you. One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never allow what other people say to distract you from your goal. With time, his demands will increase. My question to you is why are you using the word love, he is more of a control freak than a partner? All dreams are within reach my dear, all you have to do is keep moving forward. Always remember that you cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails to always reach your destination. Work with him, don’t be led by him.
